So cut to two weeks later, I got home, with a fully stocked fridge, thank you very much. And I must have stared into that thing for about ten minutes, but nothing looked good. Ever have those days?

That's when it hit me. My refrigerator was a lot like my love life. I'm either starving to death or I've got a ton of food around and I'm not hungry. Sometimes I had a ton of guys around me and I wasn't really interested in any of them and other times, I couldn't get a date to save my life. Sound at all familiar? It's either feast or famine.

Now, I've got to admit, the "feast" part of the equation doesn't seem to come around as much as the famine part, am I right? Think about it. How many times have you walked down the street and seen some lovely dovey couple holding hands or stopping for a quick kiss? Enough to make you want to vomit when you're going home alone to your cat and your Tivo.

So if you're in the middle of a dating famine, here are a few things you should know that will keep you from going to bed hungry!

Closed For Repairs

OK. You're not going to like this, but what kind of friend would I be if I just told you what you wanted to hear? So, here goes: If you are not attracting anyone right now. It may be a sign that you should be alone for a little while and working on YOU.

HUH?

Yeah, yeah. Hear me out.

Let's say you've been out of a relationship for a couple of months and you are on the prowl for your next boyfriend. But if you still have some unresolved issues with your ex, then you not really ready to be with someone else.

Or what if your life feels really crappy right now. You hate your job, your home, the size of your butt... you get my point. And you're thinking that Mr. Prince Charming will magically come and sweep you off your feet, and all those problems magically will go away, right? Wrong!

A good friend of mine who happens to be a psychologist told me that we tend to attract people who are the same level of mental health as we are. So that means if you are feeling lonely, desperate and needy, you could very well attract someone who has those same challenges.

Now, if that's all you want in a relationship, hey, be my guest. But, if you want better, and darlin', you better believe you deserve better, then maybe it's time to stop looking for a guy to rock your world and start making some improvements on yourself .

I mean, if there is no guy around right now for distraction, isn't this the perfect time to become the best "YOU" that you can be?

Your Picker's off

Another sign that will tell you it's time to appreciate your no-man diet is your recent selection. Do you ever find yourself dating someone less than ideal for you? But you have a ton of good excuses not to get rid of him: he's a lot of fun, he's good in bed, and there's no one else around.

Yeah, those are REALLY great reasons. You may even be in that "I love bad boys" phase that we all get into sometimes. It's kind of like eating only chocolate. It may taste really good at first, but sooner or later, you're going to gain ten pounds, have a pepperoni pizza for a face and feel like crap all the time. (And if you find yourself addicted to bad boys, you may want to check out my friend Christian's website. He wrote a whole chapter of just that problem! Click HERE to check it out.)

Sometimes, we choose a guy simply because "HE" happens to around at the moment we are alone (and maybe not even lonely). We hope that he'll grow on us after a while and become somewhere close to our ideal guy. But do you really want to settle for whatever the cat dragged in? Remeber, if Mr. Right Now is in your bed, Mr. Right has nowhere to sleep! Your time and attention are valuable! Don't waste them!

Making a List, Checking it Twice

OK. So, you agree (sort of!!!) that if you're alone right now, then you're ready to make the most of it.

Now what?

One helpful tool is to make a few lists. Four to be exact. Just remember these are your lists, not for any other other human eyeballs, so be honest.

The Fabulous List

The first list you're going to make is the "I'm Fabulous" list. This is the fun one. Make a list the things you like about yourself. Now is not the time to be modest. This is the time to remind yourself that you're a catch!!!
For example, my list could partially look like this:

Lora's Fabulous List

Good Listener
Smart Girl
Funny
Athletic
Looks damn good in a tight skirt
Loyal lady
Great kisser!

You get the point. This is a great way to remind yourself that you have a lot to offer someone. And someday you will have someone to offer it to!

The Fabulous in Training List

The second list you're going to make is not as fun but very important all the same. Make a list of things you'd like to improve about yourself. And pay close attention to things that may have been a problem in past relationships. I know this sounds like a depressing exercise to do, but think of it as a learning experience. How can you correct things about yourself if you don't take an honest look at what's not working? And remember that old saying, "Keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting." Nobody's perfect, so we'll ALL have a list.

For instance:

Lora's Fabulous in Training List

I could be more patient
I could stop giving the silent treatment when I'm mad!
I could try not to gossip
I could procrastinate less when writing my articles!
I could spend less on shoes. (OOOH, let's not get crazy now!)

See? Now I can start to see which character defects need working on. And when we're aware of these defects, we are more willing to make an effort to change our behavior.

The Dream List

OK. Back to a fun list. Remember when you were little and you wanted to be a Barbie astronaut who was also the president and a movie star ballerina? And then, when you grew up, you never saw that job in the "Help Wanted" ads, did you? Yeah, neither did I.

No Matter.

Just because that dream may not come true, doesn't mean that you're not still harboring other dreams. So what are they? What have you always wanted to try? What have you wanted learn? Where have you wanted to go? Write a dream list of things that you would want to do before you die.

Write it down! Here are some of mine:

Lora's Dream List

Go on an African Safari
Learn to play Mozart on the Piano
Become fluent in French
Become certified in scuba diving
Have a baby
Win an Oscar

Hey. I didn't say they were all going to happen, but I can move in that direction, right!!! (and more on this list in a minute!)

The "Him" List

Finally, if you're looking for a guy, do you REALLY know who you're looking for?

I didn't think so. Write out the qualities that you want in a man. Again, here is but a PARTIAL list.

Lora's "HIM" List

Smart
Considerate
Great sense of humor
Fights fair
Emotionally available
He's kind to strangers
He's a great kisser too!

Once you've written down all of the qualities you want in your future guy, put a rating by each one, on a scale of 1-10 in importance. So, if it's really important to you that he brings you cheeseburgers in bed every other Tuesday, give that a 10.And if you kind of want him to have a job (but really want those cheeseburgers!!!), then the job gets maybe a 2.

This also comes in handy when you are dating people. Because you can see in black and while what's important to you. And if you're not getting it... well, then you know what to do.

Now What?

After you've made these lists, take this time to rediscover yourself. What makes you a good person, what you can improve, and what you want in life, both in a man and in life in general.

Try to start off each day with the thought in mind of improving yourself and of doing something that makes you happy. If you love going to the gym because it makes you feel sexy, go to the gym. If you haven't seen some old friends in a while, set up a little reunion. If you're feeling a little down, call someone else and see how they're feeling. Nothing is better for self esteem that helping others.

Bottom line? Eat this free time up. Each day above ground is another day to find some happiness and improve who we are. So if you're not with a guy right now, just concentrate on you baby! Your time will come!

Moving on to Plan "B"

Now, let's say you've been working on yourself for a while. And you're pretty happy and you're already fabulous.

BUT, just plain and simple, you are now ready to meet someone. But no one's around. What's a girl to do?

Plenty!

First off, you're going to keep a journal for two weeks of everywhere you go. Go to work, write it down, to the dry cleaners, write it down, to a restaurant, write it down.

After two weeks, take a look at your list. Notice any patterns? Do you find that you basically go to the same places all the time? Well, no wonder you're not meeting anyone new!

It's time to break out of your comfort zone and start going new places.

Consult your list of things you've always wanted to do again. What is on that list that you can try? Is there a French lesson you can take? Can you sign up for an Italian cooking class? Care to join a runners' group on the weekends?

If you put yourself out there and try new experiences to improve yourself, not only will you enhance your life, but you may also have the opportunity to meet like-minded people! It's a win / win situation.

Take my friend Francie. She had been single for a while and decided she always wanted to learn how to scuba dive. Rather than waiting around for someone to take the class with, she signed up on her own and met a guy in the class who became her HUSBAND. I can't make this stuff up.

Just think. She never would have met the love of her life if she hadn't been pursuing her own dreams. By NOT waiting around for Prince Charming to come sweep her off her feet, she found him...100 feet below water!

My point is this. If you want to find a great guy, stop looking. Start looking for the great girl in you. You may just be pleasantly surprised who you meet as you follow your dreams.

And instead of starving or getting sick just eating chocolate you may find yourself enjoying the most fabulous meal that you've ever had.

Bon Appetit!

Oh, and if you're looking for some more ways to keep out of a man famine, you may also want to check out Christian Carter's website, Catchhimandkeephim.com. It's always great to have a classy guy who not only goes by his own experience, but has done a ton of research to find out what really makes men tick and what's the best way to communicate with your guy to get your needs met. He also goes into more detail on helping you become a stronger woman in a relationship. Click HERE to sign up for his free newsletter.

Clothes go flying and legs entangle. Your private parts say hello to his. And this feels pretty good, until. Oh no. Really? Already?

OK, well, that can happen to anyone. Especially the first time. You two just have to find your rhythm, that's all. So you keep having sex. And it's ok. I mean, it's good and all. But sure ain't curling your toes. He seems to like it but you? Well... what if you two can never find your rhythm?

What do you do when your man consistently reaches climax without you?

Take my friend Annie. She was telling me a story about her old boyfriend

"We were having sex when his best friend stopped by unexpectedly, stopping us mid act. Later that night, my boyfriend said to me that we never finished up, meaning he never came earlier, and I said, 'well, if that's what you call finishing up, then as far as I'm concerned, we've NEVER finished up!'"

OUCH!

OK. Maybe that's an exaggeration. Say you do have some nice oh oh OOOH's with your man. They're just very few and very far between. But if you find yourself constantly getting the short end of his stick, well, honey, things have GOT to change.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "But he's sooooooo nice in other ways. Maybe I can live without it." Or, "I'll just dump his sorry butt on the street and let find me someone who knows how to make my kitty purr tonight!"

Whoa, darling! You don't have to make drastic moves on either side of the spectrum. Not just yet. If you really care about this guy and the only thing that's standing in your way of a happy ending is a Happy Ending, then here are few tips that will give your sex life with your would be Romeo a fighting chance.

Let's Talk It Out

That's right. You're gonna have to talk about it, lady. Do you think you're sleeping with a sex psychic? Because if you were, you wouldn't be reading this article, hello! He may or may not know that there is a problem. He is, after all, a guy. If you're not telling him, he may not be clued in. And heaven forbid you're pulling the "When Harry Met Sally" fake it orgasm. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. That helps NO ONE.

The best thing to do is have a very kind, very honest conversation. The trick is to discuss your sex life without it reflecting poorly on you or giving him performance anxiety. Scary but very doable if you follow my lead. And I've talked to plenty of guy friends that have backed me up on this approach, so I'm not leading you astray.

First off, you want to pick your timing. Right before he's entering you is not the time to sit up and say, "You know, Greg, not once have I had an orgasm with you. See if you can do better this time." Can you say immediate deflation of his... uh, ego and other body parts? How can anybody try to perform after that?

The best time to bring up the conversation is after the deed is already done. A post-coital conversation, if you will.

But tact is everything. No one wants to be told what they're "doing wrong". If you start off any conversation by telling someone what you don't like, you're going to put that person on the defensive. Now times that by about a million and you'll get what it's like for a man to hear from his lady that she's not happy in the sack. So be gentle with that delicate ego of his.

Start Off With Something Positive

You can say, "You know Jason, I love it when you were (fill in your blank here) to me. That felt so amazing. And you know what would be even more amazing? I'd love it if you would (fill in your blank here) to me too! That would really rock my world!"

This is a great way of opening the door for a frank discussion about your sex life. You can ask him if there is anything he like you to do and you can let him know what works for you too. But you've got to know communication is key. If you are routinely not reaching climax in bed, chances are your man is in the dark about it and needs you to shed some light on your needs.

(But keep in mind, if he DOES know you're not getting much out of your sex life and hasn't done anything about it, then you may need another man who isn't so selfish!)

OK. So, you've opened the door to the fact that Houston, we have a problem. Now what? Don't worry, there are options.

Ladies First

For a lot of women, the problem lies in what leads up to actual penetration, or the fact that NOTHING leads up to penetration. "Wham Bam, Thank you Ma'am" are lyrics to an old David Bowie song, not a mantra for good sex.

Have your man start with you before anything else. You are allowed to be selfish in bed and have your guy perform oral sex on you until you reach climax and THEN move on to actual penetration. (Or just before, if that's what floats your boat.) See, the plus sides are, you get your needs met and then have a much more enjoyable sexual experience with him AND he gets the satisfaction of pleasing you and working himself into a frenzy with desire!

It's a Win/Win situation!

And forget about the whole "Oh baby, I'll take care of you afterwards, I promise" load of crap he may hand you. He may have good intentions, but come on! How much energy is he REALLY going to have after he climaxes? And do you really want to have sloppy seconds at that point?

NO! Get him while he's ready, willing and able. You deserve it!

Where's the Fire?

Now, you may not be the chickie that really wants oral sex all the time, or your boyfriend had his tongue ripped out in some terrible freak motor cross accident (hey, it could happen!). Bottom line; you need other options.

Let Your Fingers Do the Talking

Or his for that matter! But while you the two of you are having sex, don't be shy about stimulating yourself with your fingers for added pleasure! Or think about adding a little toy, like a vibrator, to enhance your experience. You may feel self-conscious at first, but once you let go and enjoy the multiple sensations, you might even enjoy some multiple orgasms!

Condomania

Are you two using condoms? Because besides keeping away sexually transmitted disease and a great source of birth control, a condom also acts a desensitizer. That means your guy should be able to last longer, if he's been, shall we say, racing to the finish line? There are also condoms that have a desensitizing cream in them to help slow him down.

The Coffee Break

You two can always take a little breather. If your man is really close to climaxing, practice with him pulling out and maybe playing with you for a while. That way, you can catch up to his level of excitement and the two of you are back on the same footing.

And Speaking of Breathing

You can help yourself by practicing your deep breathing and those goofy old Kegel exercises. You may remember them. It's the muscle you use to hold your pee. If you stop and start your stream of urine, that is exercising your Kegel muscle. Practice squeezing that muscle while having sex and see if you don't get a little more of a thrill!

The Couple That Exercises Together...

Sexercises together! Your man can improve his stamina by working out. So why not make it a couples thing? You'll also let out some really happy, sex starved endorphins to boot!

Now, one last thing before you go tear off your man's clothes, you frisky, little kitty cat! There are a couple of things you need to remember. The two of you have to have patience. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was the perfect orgasm. Well, you get what I mean. Our minds can put sooooooo much pressure on ourselves to climax, that the more we want to, the less of a chance it's going to happen!

Let go and breathe, baby! Just think about how good it feels and allow yourself to feel that wonderful pleasure your man is giving you.

And keep in mind that you guys are having fun and are having an adventure together. You're not curing cancer or solving the problems in the Middle East. Hopefully, you're solving the problems down SOUTH!

Which leads me to my other rule of thumb. Whatever you do, don't lose your sense of humor!!! It's OK to be goofy and awkward in bed. And not only is it OK, but it's actually encouraged to laugh in bed. Just don't laugh AT each other. Laugh with each other!

So what are you doing here still? Go make out! I can't do it all for ya! And remember, practice makes perfect, so practice, practice, practice!!!

And one more thing - If you find yourself having more problems communicating with your man, or find that your problems are not just in the bedroom, you may want to take a peak at my friend Christian's website and sign up for his free newsletter. He's great at giving the guy's perspective and giving you secret tips on how to really get what you want! Click here to check it out!

1. Not knowing what you want. One of the biggest mistakes you can make when dating is dating men without having a clear picture of what you are looking for in a guy. If you don't know what you're looking for, how can you find it? Take pen to paper and spend some time writing out a list of the traits that you'd like to have in a mate. Keep in mind what you are and are NOT willing to compromise on when it comes to these traits. It will make your search for Mr. Right much easier.

2. Telling your life story on the first date. The first date with someone is a time to get to know each other, but not know EVERYTHING. A lot of women feel the need to tell their life story in the first two hours of meeting someone. First off, you're going to scare the guy off and secondly, what's the rush? Save info for the second, third, tenth date. On that same note, dates are not therapy sessions. If you go into a relationship looking for someone to "fix you" or save you from loneliness, you will always be disappointed. No other human being can do that for you, except a therapist that help YOU fix YOU. So try not spilling out all of your problems over appetizers.

3. Not sharing your opinions. I hear frustration from a lot of men when they date women that won't express an opinion. You may think you're being agreeable, but you may just be coming off as passive. If he asks you where you want to eat, fight the reflex to just say, "I don't care, wherever you want." Speak up. Don't be afraid to disagree with him. If he thinks that "The Terminator" is the most romantic movie, and you, uh, don't, you too can still get along if you voice your opinion. Too many women put their personalities and beliefs on hold just to get a guy to like them. But how can he like you if doesn't REALLY know you?

5. Getting ahead of yourself. Have you ever gone on a great first date and in your mind started picking out china patterns and wedding dresses? Well, we all have had that "He's the one!" moment, but a lot of women really take it too far in their minds. Don't make that decision too soon. One of the best pieces of advice I can give you is the date you are on should just help you decide if you want to go on another date with him, nothing more. Don't get ahead of yourself.

6. Worrying more about his feelings than yours. A lot of women make the mistake of spending way too much time worried about whether the guy they are dating likes them, when they REALLY should be thinking about whether or not they really like the guy! Think about it. Just because a guy tells you his favorite way to spend a Saturday night is going to watch World Wrestling Federation, instead of lying and telling him that sounds like fun, maybe you should be thinking to yourself, maybe this guy isn't for me (unless you really dig WWF, then set the wedding date.)

7. Ignoring red flags. There's one mistake whose impact is huge and you'll avoid a lot of heartache if you are aware of it. We tend to get a little blind to things when we get a crush on a guy. But one of the worst things you can do is ignore those red flags. You know what I mean. You have a valuable tool; it's called your own intuition. Don't start ignoring it just because the guy is really cute. I had a friend who dated a guy who on the first date seemed to be a bit of a drinker. She suppressed the warning feeling she had and continued to date him, only to end up in a car accident with him later because he was drunk driving. Turns out he's had a couple of DUI's in the PAST! Don't try and justify his behavior or sugarcoat it because he has other traits you like. It will just cause heartache later on.

8. Committing on your own. If you have gone on a couple of dates with a guy and you really like him, you are not allowed to decide on your own that he is your boyfriend. A lot of women do this and I've been guilty of it in the past myself. But it's not realistic and only creates trouble. What happens is that you may feel he's your guy, but if you two haven't openly discussed it, he may still be dating others, and that's his right. But in your head, a shift has been made and you've gone into girlfriend mode. You may get needier and more possessive without even knowing it and he's start pulling away without even knowing it. For more info on how to handle "The Talk," you can sign up for and read my friend Christian's free newsletter at CatchHimandKeepHim.com
He gets more in depth on what to do and what not to do.

9. Putting your life on hold. Please don't be one of those girls whose life stops if HE doesn't call and starts up if and when he does. A guy cannot press a pause button on you, so make plans with your friends, go out and do things, don't wait for him to call. And don't be one of those girls that either waits until Saturday afternoon to make plans with her friends that night (because you were waiting until the last possible second to see if he would call) OR don't be the type that cancels with your friends because he called. UNLESS he has two first class tickets to Paris, there really is no excuse to cancel on your friends. You had a life before you met a guy and you must have a life after you meet a guy.

10. Sex for the wrong reasons. Please, Please, Please DO NOT use sex to get the guy to like you. It's a desperate maneuver and guys will know it. If you really want to sleep with a guy, that's one thing, but if you're not ready or you have doubts or you just feel your motives are not the same as his, wait. You have to be watching out for you. And if you feel like your having sex too early because otherwise he may lose interest, than YOU should be losing interest in him.

If you enjoyed this article, take a look at The Questions You Really Want To Ask A Date!

Wow!

After a good laugh, we "discussed" the do's and don't of the giving some loving to the male organ. I felt some sort of weird "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" deja vu with Jennifer Jason Leigh and a carrot. Then it dawned on me. There are probably plenty of ladies out there that are just kind of flying blindly when it comes to giving oral sex and plenty of guys who don't tell them because they're just so happy to be getting any at all!

So, we talked to some of our male counterparts and fellow ladies who are confident in their giving ways to see what you need to know... but weren't even aware that you should!

Enjoy what you're doing
This is your chance to give pleasure to your man. Be enthusiastic about it! It's time you let that inner sex kitten out and play. Be powerful, strong, and sexy. Look at him while you're pleasuring him, enjoy the fact that right at this moment, he'd hand over the keys to the castle. This is a powerful act for a woman and the time when a man is at his most vulnerable. Savor it.

The wetter, the better
Guys agree. The more saliva you use, the more enjoyable. Try and keep him very moist from the tip on down. This is not the time to act like Bree on "Desperate Housewives" and be anally neat. Get messy. Remember, you are simulating a very warm moist place...

It's Time to Tease
Where's the fire, Lady? Don't try to rush through a BJ by simply going up and down on you man with your mouth. Tease that little bad boy. Make him beg for it. Take that tongue of yours and tickle the top of his penis. Slowly, take your tongue down his shaft and caress the top of his penis at the same time. Mix it up! Make him squirm, that naughty boy!

Lend a helping hand
Or two. Don't be afraid to use your hands, especially if you don't have a Linda Lovelace throat. Your hand could be a nice continuation of your mouth. Even feel free to add a gentle twist of the wrist to add to the pleasure.

Be ballsy
The testicles are your friends, ladies. Treat them as such. Greet them warmly. The number one complaint we heard from men is that their female counterparts would forget that they are a package deal. Three's Company.

Remember what you're handling
There's a fine line between being firm and strangulation. Be mindful of the amount of pressure you're using. Try and think of what you would like, were the tables turned. You're not strangling a dead chicken.

Don't be afraid to ask for comments
Don't just hope for the best. If your man doesn't seem to be over the moon, (what, is he in a coma?) then feel free to ask him if there is anything that you could improve on. The whole idea is to give pleasure, as I'm SURE he will be doing in return. Communication can only make it better.

Whatever you decide is the "Happy Ending," know your man
Not to blow the mood, bad pun intended, but you still have to be responsible with your health. There is a reason prostitutes use condoms for oral sex. If your man hasn't been tested, you can be playing BJ Roulette. Think before you drink.

OK, If you got a kick out of this article, be sure to take a look at "Just how Important is SEX?" Click here for a good laugh about bad sex!

And If you're confident with your skill IN the sack, but not so confident with your skills OUT, check out CatchHimandKeepHim.com for great pointers to keep a great guy around!

New Year's Resolution
New pair of pants
Just out of a relationship
Bikini time
Getting rid of baby fat
Going on vacation
None of my clothes fit
My friend told me about a new diet
I just caught a glimpse of me in the mirror naked
The holidays are coming up
New year's Resolution (again)

That's right. These are just a few of the old standards that motivate us to get our little butts off the couch, step away from the potato chips, and exercise.

But I've got a better reason than all of those combined.

Exercise will make drastic improvements in your sex life!

Got your attention?

Yeah, I thought so, you naughty little girl!

We all need a little inspiration to get in good shape, so I thought I'd ask our exercise expert, or make that our "Sexercise Sexpert", Dan, to give me a program designed with sex in mind. Not only is Dan a certified physical trainer in Santa Barbara, California, but one dreamy bit of inspiration in his own right! So if he tells me how to improve my sex life, I'll assume the position! And if you know what's good for you, you will too!

#1 - "The Must Thrust"

A must for all of us. This will not only keep that little butt of yours nice and tight, but it will also keep you thrusting up and down whether you're lying down, standing up, in a sitting position, bending over... Well, you get the point.

Dan had me lie down, with my arms at my sides and my knees bent (I liked it already!) with my feet together, I pushed my hips up in the air, toward my imaginary lover...mmm, so good.

Dan reminded me the trick to this move was to not use my abs, but concentrate on just using my butt muscles, and no cheating by using any arms!

The cherry on top was to really squeeze your butt hard when you stop at the top and hold it for a second. (I would just say "You Bad Boy!" in my head as I squeezed, and the second was over!)

I did what my master Dan told me, 3 sets of 20 "Bad Boys", (ideally 3 or 4 times a week). I definitely felt a burn but Dan reminded me, the more I work out, the more I can work IT later. OK. I'm game. What's next?

#2 - Girlie on Top Hips

This is a great exercise for when you want to ride your man like a stallion, not like some plastic merry-go-round pony! It works your lower abs and your hips so you can work that bad boy under you for a hell of a lot longer.

I was back on my back, lying down with my hands to my sides. This time, my legs were fully extended. He had me raise one straight leg at a time, slowly to a 45-90 degree angle. Then down again, nice and slow.

He reminded me to keep my tummy nice and tight and told me not to arch my back. I guess I'd have to save THAT move for the bedroom.

It was the same deal, 3 sets of 20, 3 to 4 times a week, but Dan told me, as I got stronger, I could graduate up to using both legs at the same time. I liked the sound of that!

#3 - The Gyrating Cyclist

OK, Mr. Sexpert must like me on my back, because there I was again. Knees bent and fingers interlaced behind my head. This was getting kinky.

Not so fast. He had my body twist so my right elbow met my left knee, while my right leg was extended straight, but NEVER touching the ground, then switching. Left elbow to right knee with left leg extended with a light crunch in between. I did 30 of these, 15 on each side, in a steady, rhythmic fashion.

Dan assured me that this would improve not just my up, down, but my ALLLLLL around movement of my hips, so I could stir up my man and myself into a frenzy! Again, He recommended 3-4 times a week, but the more I could do, the more I could do it!

#4 - The Heart Muscle's Connected to the Sex Bone

Cardio is key to any workout, sure. But when put in the context that it would help me last longer in bed, well, who am I to argue with that type of logic? (You may want to remind your man of that to, hint, hint!)

Dan said the elliptical trainer at the gym is great for this. Not only does it get your heart rate going, but also it's working all the muscles you're working during sex.

If you don't go to a gym, run, get on a bike, swim. Anything that gets your heart pumping like you'd like to pumped later!

But don't think about cheating! Dan told me that if I could carry on a normal conversation, then I wasn't working hard enough. So of course, I had to ask him how hard is hard? He said that you should basically be breathing every third word.

Hear that, Ladies? We need to practice our heavy breathing!

#5 - Advancy Pants

Dan gave me a few advanced moves for you little nymphets out there. He said I should have some balls between my legs (I swear! I can't make this stuff up!)

If you find the Must Thrust too easy, put a basketball between your knees and squeeze that puppy like there's no tomorrow. Likewise with Girlie on Top Hips, you can hold a basketball with your ankles and then bring your legs up and scream, "Who's your daddy!" at the top of your lungs. (Well, maybe that part's optional.)

I left Dan like I had been ridden hard. But I must confess, within a couple of weeks, I was definitely riding my man with newfound stamina and strength. And all I can say is I have finally found the motivation I needed all along.

So next New Years, I guess I'll need a new resolution.

Remember, it's one thing to get your butt in shape. It's another thing to get your RELATIONSHIP in shape! So you should take look at my friend Christian's kick ass website, "Catch Him and Keeep Him". He pulls no punches and lets you know exactly what's going on inside your man's head in a really entertaining way. You can check out his free newsletter by clicking HERE now!

It's just not working for me.
I want to date other people.
I'm not ready to settle down.
I need some space.
I don't want a commitment.
We have different lifestyles.
We have different needs.
You're too needy.
It's not you. It's me.
It's you.
I moving away and want a fresh start.
I don't think I love you.
I love you but not in that way.
I'm leaving you for her.
I'm going back to her.
I'm gay.

I could go on forever. But no matter what the reason, the outcome is the same. You two are no longer together. And that feels like someone let loose a rabid dog and pinned a rare steak on your poor, defenseless, little heart.

I know. I've been there. Everyone I know has been there. In fact if you've never been there, your time will come. It's just life.

But if you're reading this, the chances are you're there right now and you feel like jumping off the Empire State Building and THEN jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. But that would mean you'd have to leave the ball that you're curled up in on the couch, so you're reading this instead.

But have no fear. I'm going to get you back into the world, walking, talking, hell even laughing!

And soon you'll forget old what's his name. (Well, maybe not forget him, but you will GET OVER HIM, I guarantee that.)

Here are a few things you must know and must do to get among the living as soon as humanly possible.

THERE'S NO GETTING AROUND FEELING THE PAIN

I thought I'd get the bad news out of the way first. Here it goes. Sorry to have to break it to you, lady, you're not going to escape feeling PAIN. Yeah, yeah, that sucks exponentially.

I know if I thought athlete's foot fungal powder would take away the pain, I'd snort a whole case of it. But it won't And no amount of wine, scotch, ripple, Ny-quil, Old Spice cologne, prescription pills that belong to your dog, illicit drugs, or liquid detergent will make that pain go away.

It may the delay the pain for a bit while you're passed out or getting you stomach pumped, but at some point, you're going to HAVE to come to and chances are, you're going to a.) feel a hell of a lot worse physically and b.) you're still going to have to feel the pain.

It's like hitting a pause button, then pressing play AND hangover at the same time. What good will that really do you?

What will do you good is to do what you're trying not to do. Cry yourself a river. I don't care if it's the Mississippi flowing down your hall, no one's ever died from crying. And the truth is, admit it. If you let yourself, about half way through a really good sob fest, you actually feel yourself feeling some RELIEF.

Let it all out, babe. Know that the first week post break-up is just ICE-PACK week. That means, your face will be so red and swollen from crying so much that you'll need an ice pack on it 24/7. The plus side is that good cries release this sadness out of you and when you're done, you feel so tired and then you can rest. So a good cry is actually really helpful and healthy!

PAIN IS FINITE

OK. Now the good news. This pain and heartache you are feeling has a beginning, a middle and an END!!!! That means at some point, the heart in a blender feeling will go away.

Let me share one of the best pieces of advice I once got about this exact issue. I was going through a break-up from "The ONE" (one of many, is more like it, but I digress). I went to go see a very wise friend of mine who has been miraculously married happily for years, so be default, one of my relationship gurus.

While I wailed about how I would never recover, I was destined to die alone and how my womb would be barren forever. I tearfully explained to her that I had lost my only chance at happiness, to which she coolly asked, "Was he your soul mate?"

Huh? Well, I thought long and hard about it. He was an amazing boyfriend but did I really believe that he was the end all be all for me? Probably not.

"Good," she said, "then it will only take you three months to get over him. If it was your soul mate...it would take six."

She made a really important point. There WOULD be a finish line that I would cross and when I did, my pain would be on one side and I would be on the other. That gave me immense comfort to know that this pain was going away.

DON'T GO IT ALONE

That brings me to my next point. A friend helped me see this very important bit of information. And that's just what YOU need. Friends. One really good one, a few good ones, lots of them, family members, whatever, but you need a support system. You really shouldn't go through this alone.

I remember when my friend Julie went through a really horrendous break-up. She came straight over to my house and basically didn't leave my couch for a week. Did I mind? No way. She's my friend. So when the world swallowed me up then spit me up, I went to Julie's house and camped out on her couch.

That's what friends do. They hold you, they let you cry and smell if you haven't taken a shower in two days, they poke pins in your ex's voodoo doll and they make little "there, there" cooing noises while you rock spastically. Bottom line, friends help you get through the bad times, and this is one of them. Take advantage of that and let people help you.

THE LETTER

Even after the break-up, there's always a feeling of wanting to say one last thing. Or a feeling that comes up that you wish you had chance to express. Or that perfect comeback you had wished you had said while the two of you were fighting.

Well, my darling, here's your chance. You get to write him a letter. And you can write any and every little thing you've wanted to say. If you want to tell him how much you miss him, write it. If you want to tell him he's a lying, ungrateful, two-timing skank lover, write it. If you want to tell him he's a lousy lay and you faked it every time, write it. If you want to tell him, despite all that, you still wish he was spooning you right now, write it.

The catch it, you ain't sending it, lady! That letter is for you only, to get all that mental and emotional vomit out. And then you can rip it up, clog the toilets with it, burn it, but DON'T SEND IT. It's for your healing only. So say what you gotta say.

STAY AWAY FROM HIM

This one's hard. But you're not going to move on if you're still in it. In other words, you cannot accept the fact that a relationship has gone its course and heal if you keep going back to the source of pain.

Plus you run the risk of getting your hopes up each time and that only makes it worse when YET AGAIN you come to the realization that life will not be walking hand in hand with this particular guy.

And yeah, WE all, in a perfect world where Mozart comes out of my butt, would like to stay friends with our exes. And maybe, one day you will. JUST NOT NOW, or tomorrow, or even next month.

Rule of thumb? A serious relationship needs about a 6 month healing time, give or take. That means no calling, no one last night of loving, no drinking and emailing. Don't derail yourself. It's like you're this pretty, little, delicate, wounded paper clip and your ex is this ginormous, overwhelming, all encompassing magnet. Just keep your distance so you can stand on you own two paper clippy feet again.

WHATEVER YOU DON'T WANT TO DO, DO

Alright. A few days go by and you're ready for another day of a "The Facts of Life" marathon and any Lifetime movie. So what do you do? You get that pretty little butt of yours out of bed, that's what!

Whatever you want to do right now is probably the worst action. So take opposite action.

TAKE ACTION!

You need to force, and I mean FORCE yourself to get outside and take a walk. You need to take a shower and put on something that makes you feel pretty. You need to meet a friend for lunch. You need to take on an extra shift at work or an extra project. You need to go to the gym, or a yoga class or ride a bike. You NEED to get active.

You get that blood flowing and physically, you WILL feel better. You know what they say about hospitals, "The longer you stay, the LONGER you stay", meaning the longer you are in a place where there is illness, the greater chance you have of getting sicker.

It's the same principle here. The longer you stay mopey, alone and depressed, the more likely you are to get even more depressed and isolated.

MOVE FORWARD TO MOVE ON

After some time has gone by, remember this one thing. The sweetest revenge is being happy. Once you start getting out of the house and seeing friends again, you make a little deal with yourself. NO ONE is in charge of your happiness but you. So take the reigns.

Make a list of those things you put off while you were in the relationship that you didn't do, your friends and family you haven't seen and start investing in them. Re-examine your goals in life (yeah, we know find "the one"...besides that). If you've always wanted to go on a hiking trip, but he didn't, now's the time to go. Or you can start small. Take a evening class in something that has always interested you.

Treat yourself like you are your own girlfriend and court yourself. Treat yourself to something you would not ordinarily do, whether it be a facial, or a language course.

Soon you'll find the time between the thoughts of him gets longer and longer. You'll be waking up and the first thought isn't him, but something about YOU. You'll start to look at other guys and think, "Hmm, interesting". You'll begin to date. You'll smile.

You will have moments of contentment and hope for your future will be restored.

I promise.

Hang in there, You're in a world full of women who understand what you're going through because they've been there themselves and have survived it. So you're never alone.

Tomorrow is going to be a little bit easier.

Now if you're just having trouble with your relationship, I'd suggest you check out my friend Christian's website, "Catch Him and Keep Him". He's got great advice to helping you through the rough times. Plus, he's a guy, so it's like having a spy working for you!! Click HERE to check out his free newsletter

DANIEL CRAIG

The name's Hot. Very Hot.

Let's hear it for the new Mister 007 (and that's spelled OH! OH! 7.) Dear, dear Daniel. We're so glad you're our next James Bond. Who cares about those screaming Mimis who want a brunette? There is nothing wrong with that blond mane of yours. It makes us want to run our fingers thought your hair.

And you're not just a pretty face or a body that looks like you could swing us around like a baton. (Although, thank God for that!) No. You have talent too. We saw your acting chops in "Layer Cake". And the sexy make out scene with Sienna Miller sent us running to our cold showers.

Now let's play Little Red Riding Hood. You be the WOLF

Us: Grandma, what blue eyes you have.

Daniel: The better to see you naked with, my dear.

Us: And Grandma, what a big mouth you have.

Daniel: The better to eat you with, my dear...

Ah... we can dream, can't we?

Speaking of dreaming, if you're spending too much time dreaming of a great boyfriend (like I am apparently!) and not enough time WITH the guy of your dreams, I suggest you check out my friend Christian's website for some seriously down to earth, kick ass advice of men and relationships. It's called "Catch Him and Keep Him" and you can sign up to read his free newsletter by clicking HERE now!

And I bet you're feeling it too, right? That antsy, I gotta get out of here feeling, right? All year long, it's been you just slavin behind that desk, or running around like a chicken with its head cut off, all for the paycheck. And like Jack Nicholson typed about 50 million times in "The Shining", all work and no play make Jane a dull girl!

It is time to plan a vacation!

So what if you don't have some hot guy to whisk you off on a romantic trip? You don't need a man to have an amazing getaway. And if you've never gone on vacation by yourself, it is TIME!

Treat yourself, Lady! You deserve it. You're making your own dough. You've worked hard. No excuses! It's time to get away.

Ok, what if you're not Donalda Trump (Oh My God, could you imagine THAT hair on a woman?) and you're not made of money? You can still have a fabulous vacation! Simply grab a best friend or friends and split the costs!

Now you could go to the same old places, i.e., anything an hour or two away from your stomping grounds, but if you're ready for something new, that will make you the envy of all those at home, AND will be safe for a little chickie on her own, we've done the research for you.

We asked Martin Rapp, our vacation guru at Altour Travel in New York to tell us where all the stylish ladies are vacationing. He gave us absolute top sites!

So, dust off your suitcase, pull out those sandals, dig out your passport and read on!

St. Barths, French West Indies

If you've picked up any People, Us Weekly or any other weekly mag that devotes 5000 pictures to stars on vacation, surely you've heard of St. Barths, in the French West Indies. This beautiful gem has the crème of the crop from all of the world coming down to sun on its beaches, dock their yachts and enjoy its nightlife. Why not you?

Sure, it can be expensive, but prices vary and can be affordable, especially if you go off-season, which is summer! And try out the Hotel Eden Rock (www.edenrockhotel.com) which has a great bar scene. You'll find yourself surrounded by plenty of beautiful French and American men who may be a little more sophisticated than the boy next door. Nothing wrong with a change of pace!

Plus, there are plenty of activities! You can go water skiing, you can rent a boat, scooters, shop and come back with a killer tan! (But don't forget the sunscreen!) You can check the hotel for different promotions they have during different weeks. Cottages start at 425 Euro (approx. $500 for a double a night). For more information on the island itself, go to www.st-barths.com.

Atlantis - Paradise Island

The Atlantis on Paradise Island is an all purpose resort in the Bahamas. This is another fabulous destination for the single hottie, depending on when you book. Atlantis is known to be a very family friendly resort, so if you go during spring break, summer, or any major school holiday, chances are you'll be overrun by the little kiddies.

But if you choose your dates carefully, (I'd even call the resort and ask them for the best non-family dates) you could meet a great number of single guys who come for the casinos and the ease of getting there from the east coast (for example, JetBlue flies nonstop from Boston to Nassau!)

There's a great promotion available for five nights including all taxes, round trip ground transportation AND 10% discount at the Atlantis stores, HELLO, for $1723.00. For more information, go to www.Atlantis.com.

Rancho La Puerta, Baja California

So sipping tropical drinks on the beach not your thing? How about getting your butt in shape? Hop on a plane and get over to this popular spa just south of the California border in Tecate, Baja California. You'll be cradled in over 3000 acres of untouched mountains and meadows while living and breathing their motto, "rest, renew and redirect."

The spa almost exclusively takes reservations for the Saturday to Saturday week, so you can get the full benefit of their facilities. Or you can be tortured sufficiently, depending on your outlook.

There are tons of hikes, yoga, pilates, weight training, volleyball, tennis, a track, water exercises, circuit training, tai chi and even samba classes, to name a few. But you also have the opportunity to take naps in their many hammocks, get massages and mani / pedis. They even have women-only weeks. Check them out at www.rancholapuerta.com.

Skylonda, Woodside California

Here's another great spa that's a little more low key than Rancho La Puerta, but no less an incredible experience. 30 minutes south of San Francisco, Skylonda is in a beautiful redwood environment. Quiet, peaceful hikes through the forest, yoga and meditation as well as daily massages and healthy gourmet meals everyday. You can also do circuit training, swim and take classes on stress management.

This is another spa that wants to maintain the dignity of the spa experience, so plan on dedicating a week of your life to taking really good care of yourself.

This is definitely not one of those vacations that you'd need ANOTHER vacation afterwards to recuperate. This is about pampering your mind and body. For more details, call their toll-free number at 800.851.2222.

Amansala Resort, Tulum, Mexico

Ever wanted to spend a week doing yoga and exploring ancient Mayan ruins? Well, then welcome to Tulum, Mexico and the Amansala eco-chic resort. (Amansala is derived from two words aman, meaning state of tranquility and sala meaning water.)

This beautiful resort on the Mexican Riveria is limited to 25 people a week where you have morning walks in the jungle or beach, yoga, pilates and days that end with pampering massages, meditation and fresh water swimming.

There are also excursions to the Mayan ruins and special mud wraps using nutrient rich Mayan mud.

The cost for a six-night stay Amansala is $1,842, including accommodations, exercise classes, excursions, two massages and one elective of personal fitness training, facial or reflexology. The price also includes meals and non-alcoholic drinks. Check their website for special retreat weeks. www.amansala.com.

London and Paris

If you want a city adventure, then London and Paris are still the cities to see. And now, more and more hotels are hiring female general managers, which means more comfort and consideration for the single female traveler. And smaller, boutique hotels will usually be more aware of their guests, so if you're traveling alone, they will keep a better eye on you, making your trip just that much safer. Dukes Hotel is managed by Karan Marchant in London. Not only is it located close to the theatre district and the museums, but it is in a quiet and very safe cul de sac near St. James Palace. www.dukeshotel.co.uk. There's also the Egerton House for the serious shoppers, located close to Harrod's and the super stylish Sloane Street. www.egertonhousehotel.co.uk.

On Paris' Left Bank, Marie Escartin manages a beautiful little gem called the Espirit St Germain. It's a gorgeous eighteenth century residence that opened as a hotel in 2004 and is in walking distance from the stylish shops of St Germain de Pres and peaceful Luxumbourg Gardens. Rates start at roughly $370 US dollars. www.espritsaintgermain.com.

Dalmation Coast

Dalmation Coast could be one of the most beautiful places on earth that you've never heard of. It is the Riveria of Croatia and there is a walking and biking tour set for those of you looking for more adventure laced with luxury. Butterfield and Robinson Tours has one where you start in Venice and end in Dubrovnik. But the kicker is you stay on a luxury yacht instead of hotels every night.

The trip is nine days and eight nights, where you'll explore the beautiful coastline and medieval towns, then spend your evenings dining on fresh fish and their local wines. Contact them for more information on this tour or dozens of other they have all over the world at 866.551.9090 or at www.Butterfield.com.

Santa Fe and Taos, New Mexico

A tamer, but no less fulfilling adventure can take you to beautiful New Mexico. Backroads offers a great hiking tour for the nature loving ladies who want to stay on the move, meet some new people and enjoy Mother Nature.

The trip, six days and five nights lets you explore all the beauty that inspired artists like Ansel Adams and Georgia O'Keefe. You'll even get to visit her summer home and see some of her artwork.

You hike through forests then see the convergence of the Rio Grande and Red Rivers. You enjoy the amazing red rock monuments and American Indian architecture while enjoying extraordinary cuisine along the way. Prices for the week, including meals and lodging start at $2698. But check out their website for many other options, including trips just for singles or those traveling solo. www.backroads.com.

One last note: Remember to travel safely.

Always let a friend or family member have a copy of your itinerary.

Keep an eye on your purse, passport, etc., even on a plane.

Book hotels that use electric cards. These cards don't have your room number on them and if you lose them, they can be replaced, while your lost one will be demagnetized.

Avoid cultural misunderstandings. If you're going overseas, do a little research. Wearing a t-shirt and shorts may be fine for a guy in some parts, but dangerous for women other places. Likewise, a smile or eye contact in some countries could be misunderstood.

Happy Traveling!

And if you want the FOLLOWING vacation to be with a a hottie, check out the website, "Catch Him and Keep Him" for great advice on improving your lovelife! Click HERE for a free newsletter

We'd like to believe it's just the one weird guy out there, who was hit on the head with a bowling ball when he was three, but honestly, who hasn't had something like this happen to her? And as much as we'd like to think we know how the male mind works, (something to do with football, beer and Playboy?) there are a few questions out there that still remain unanswered. Like how do you make the kind of first impression that will nearly gaurantee a guy calls you?

I decided to go straight to the horse's mouth, or in this case, straight to the hottie's mouth for answers. I mean, if you want to know what the hell a guy is thinking, why not ask a guy?

So, I met up with Christian Carter, whose been sharing some seriously insightful dating advice with thousands of women on his Web site, CatchHimandKeepHim.com. Not only has Christian spent several years studying the dynamics of male/female relationships and behavioral psychology as it relates to men and women, but he's interviewed a number of respected psychologists and other experts on dating. The guy's done his homework.

Of course, it doesn't hurt that he's this 6'4" blond-haired, blue-eyed, surfer-god type. (the things I do for my art!) I decided to meet up with him at a coffee house down by the beach in sunny Santa Monica, California to see what he had to share with us ladies here at SingleStylish.com. He had some pretty fascinating insight into the minds of men and what our actions say to them.

One of the first things that Christian said men notice off the bat is a woman's body language. Well, obviously right? But there are things we could be doing to turn a guy off without even knowing it.

For example, he told me a woman sitting at a bar could appear "snotty." Huh? Say you're at a bar. You sit down and you think you're putting on your best "I'm a sexy, love goddess" face. It could be coming off more like "I am an ice princess" face. Staring straight ahead, ignoring the guy next to you, because he's not your type, can make you seem high maintenance and maybe even bitchy.

Whereas, if you strike up a conversation with the gentleman next to you, you appear not only nice and friendly, but men will also see you as someone others are interested in, and men are very competitive creatures. They like the ladies that other men like too (this does not, however, mean that you need to be flirty with the guy. If you know you are not interested in him, don't let him buy you a drink, just make pleasant conversation, then you'll both feel less awkward when your attention moves to someone else later.)

And speaking of body language, Christian recommends having a friend describe how your body reacts when you're happy, and then learn to move your body this same way when you're out on the town. Or before you step into a social situation, close your eyes and try to remember the proudest moment of your life. Draw upon every sensation you can to remember that moment. Now try to feel that confidence as you enter the room. Projecting what you do when you're feeling you're best "will help you become more 'naturally' attractive to men," he says.

Another important thing is to become more comfortable with direct eye contact. When a man looks at you and you meet eyes, don't be the first one to turn away. Engage with him until he turns away. Or if you do turn away, then turn back quickly. This will let him know that he'll need to pursue you, but that you're interested and confident too.

Now, once you've got his attention, what do you do with it? Aren't we all tired of the same old conversations? I don't know about you, but if I have to sit through one more "Hi, so you out with your friends? Are you having a good time? What do you do? You live around here?" type conversation, I may vomit on the guy's shoes.

Well, newsflash! The guys are tired of it too. These talks all fall into one boring vat of useless information after ten seconds. Why would a guy be interested in that?

Christian says your best plan of attack is unpredictability. If you want to create a strong impression and be remembered, then start doing things that make you stand out from the crowd. Why? Because things that are out of the ordinary engage our emotions ten times more than things that are predictable. Emotions are the language of memory, and it's the way you make someone feel that counts.

If you create an emotional response in a man, your first impression on him will be much stronger than if you do something he might have expected or has seen before and can predict (so, what's your name? What do you do for a living?)

Now, this doesn't mean jumping up on the bar and doing a strip tease or showing him your trick of eating fire. Start off a little less shocking. Make him earn you. Christian explains:

My favorite example of unpredictability for engaging first impressions is to make a man work for direct answers. If he asks your name, you smile at him while telling him that you don't tell it to every guy who asks. If he asks what you do, you make up an obviously fake career that's sure to get a laugh or be playful ("I'm a professional [insert silly/satirical/sensual career here].") If he asks for your number, smile, touch his arm and ask him if he has his own phone line at his mom's house. These might seem like silly games, but men go crazy, don't know what's coming next and have so much fun with a woman who does these kinds of things that they can't wait to be around them again.

OK. So what if you get a few clever lines out there? Then what? You want some information about this guy, right? Christian says feel free to ask questions. Only immature guys will get scared off by questions. But make sure you're asking questions in mature, yet playful and conversational way. No interrogations, be direct yet pleasant.

And keep in mind your objective is not to interview for a husband to be. It's about whether or not this is someone you'd like to see a second time. Having that clear in your mind will actually keep you more in control.

And (this is from a guy, I swear) be careful about making your conversation and dress too sexual. A man who sees a woman in a sexual way first, will have problems seeing her in any other role later. So unless you're also only interested in the one night-stand, try to seduce his mind more than his body. How's THAT for unpredictable?

Now, this was all very interesting advice, but I have to admit, I still wasn't 100% sold after meeting Christian. I mean, it all sounds really good, but does it actually work? So I decided to do a little experiment and test Mr. Carter's tips for myself. Well, actually, I talked Jennifer, a friend of mine, who's been having a dating dry spell, into being the first impressions guinea pig. Jennifer is a pretty girl, not your perfect Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, (like the other 99.99999% of us) but not nearly a candidate for Hogs and Heifers magazine, either! She was game.

A group of us went out on the town in Hollywood. We planted poor Jennifer alone and watched her. She was armed with only her looks, personality and her new instructions from Christian.

She started off by striking up a conversation with the two men next to her. I saw one of them offer to buy her a drink but she smiled and politely refused. After about ten minutes, a man came over and the two of them started to talk. She got him laughing right off the bat and the two settled into a very animated conversation that lasted about forty-five minutes. Finally, I saw her write down her number and say goodbye.

Jennifer said Christian's advice worked PERFECTLY. Chris (the man talking to her) had asked her what she doing. And, taking advice straight out of Christian's ebook, she said she was a social scientist doing research to uncover how "beer goggles" really work, and then she asked him how many beers he had that night. Chris thought it was hilarious and the conversation was on.

Jennifer also decided to try her luck in other ways. She stumped Chris for a moment when, smiling, she asked him what kind of women did he respect?

"He actually said no one's ever asked him that before," Jennifer told us.

She also said told us that she had kept eye contact with him the whole time, which was hard for her, because Jennifer tends to be a little shy. But she said it made her feel empowered and sexier. She did glance away every so often so as not to seem like some scary stalker! We could also see that she was making a concerted effort not to slouch, as we had coached her before.

And, as Christian had predicted, Chris called two days later. They are now on date number three.

I was pretty impressed. I started reading more of Christian's Web site and found these little gems were only the tip of the iceberg. He offers great insight into the reasons why men do what they do and what are the best ways for a woman to communicate with a man. Remember, it's one thing to know how to get a guy to call you, but it puts you in a whole new league when you know what makes a man tick.

So, how about you? This advice won't do you any good if you don't try it. Do your own experiments. Go out there and see how these tips work for you. Although, may I suggest not everyone use the beer goggles research line... sooner or later, guys will start to catch on! Write us and tell us how well they worked for you. And for more great advice from Christian in his free newsletter, visit him at CatchHimandKeepHim.com
If you found this article valuable, be SURE to check one like it that has tips on making your online profile irresistible!!! Click here to read it!!!

That's all well and good but sometimes we need a change of pace. Spice it up a bit, right?. Because face it, if you are going to a bar to met a guy, your intentions may not be the same as his. Most guys are at the bar are looking for Miss Right Now, NOT Miss Right.

If that's all you ever want, fine. But, if every night at the bar is starting to feel like a pick-up version of "Groundhog Day," then maybe it's time to change your intentions a bit.

I thought I'd try a few experiments and came up with some brilliant conclusions. My friends and I decided to go out and play some games for the evening. Here's what I found out:

Men are bored too. How many times can you ask a girl her name, buy her a drink and watch her toss her hair before you get her number? My eyes are rolling into the back of my head just thinking about it.

So if you can find a way to take the evening and throw it on its pretty little ass, EVERYONE (guys included) will have a night to remember.

First and foremost, there is one thought you must drill into that lovely little head of yours for the night, and if you don't have this, you might as well stay home. You must, and I repeat, you must be in the right frame of mind.

This is all about attitude. If you don't have it, these games will not work. You are not out to find the love of your life, land a boyfriend or even hook up with Joe Hottie for some late night smooching. (Although, I know a few of us broke that last rule a couple of times, naughty girls that we are!)

This is NOT about picking up a guy.

It's about using him as your toy!

Now stay with me here. You are out for some amusement. Think of yourself as nice big kitty cat and the men out there as mice to play with! Meow! But you're not going to hurt them; you're just going to pat them around a bit. Trust me, they'll LOVE it!

Think of this as the Ladies' version of a one-night stand with all the self-esteem and no down side or a walk of shame the morning after! It's a win/win night. And in the immortal words of Cyndi Lauper, "Girls, They wanna have fun."

Remember, your goal for the evening is to entertain your friends and their goal is to entertain you. And once you're in this zone, something magical happens. There is no weird desperate feeling of looking for some guy. NO! You'll only exude confidence and a strong sense of self. Men respond to that like bees to honey.

But girls out looking for the guy? Men can smell that too and for them, it smells like dirty feet. You don't want to be a stinky foot, do you? Yeah, I didn't think so.

So, let the games begin.

So, Where Are You From?

One of the most popular games we played was girl with a foreign accent. And don't think it was a good accent by any stretch of the imagination. My friend Emily had some strange combination of English, Scottish and Indian accent going. It really didn't sound like she was from this planet, which made the game that much more fun for us.

Men would hear her accent and suddenly become mesmerized.
"Ooh, where are you from?" They'd ask. "Scotland," she'd say. "What part of Scotland?" They'd wonder. "Scotland Yard!" She'd reply. The more ridiculous the answer, the more fun everyone had.

I told several guys I was from Irish Springs, Ireland and that I was a four-leaf clover inspector. My father, a leprechaun, had recently been ill with leprosy. And as much as I couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth, I was more incredulous by their response to utter nonsense. They ate it up like little hungry puppies. Needles to say, everyone one had a great evening, enjoying the unexpected.

Rate Me!

This game takes some arts and crafts and a lot of good-natured fun. We rounded up some pieces of paper and a magic marker. We numbered the pages going from the 10 squared down to the square root of pi and then we rated the boys going in and out of the bar. Pretty soon, we had guys lining up like a parade, wanting to be rated! We were sure to keep it friendly, never rating anyone below a "6" unless he was a really snotty hottie, then he got the square root of pi, which always got a laugh from the crowd. And it seemed to give all the men involved an ego boost because everyone was rated above average. There were many drinks on the house for our table and a lot of men offering up their numbers that night.

Get A Little Outrageous

Now this can seem a bit crazy but it can be great. We tried a few new personalities / occupations. Think of this as an advanced acting improv class. Just try on a completely different persona, but one that is obviously not real. One of my friends introduced me as a dominatrix and of course, I had to play along. I became bolder and more ballsy, telling men I was Mistress Irena, much to their extreme pleasure! I had a number of guys lining up to be told they were bad boys (strange but true).

I had a ball being the aggressive mistress of the evening and the men around, including a lawyer, a Turkish model, a record producer and a dancer all had fun assuming another character too, i.e. the naught, yet passive boys. Who knew?

Another one of my friends was telling a guy she wouldn't give him her number unless he barked like a dog, that it turned her on to see someone on their knees. I swear he turned into a golden retriever before the night was through.

Of course, use some common sense and a lot of humor for a game like this. You need to have your friends around to back up your silly stories. Keep it light.

The Line Game

This is a great game to play with a group, because we've all had some guy try some painfully lame line on us. Well, the tables turn and now you try the same lines on the guys!

Each of you friends has to write down a ridiculous pick-up line. Put them all in a bag and pick one out. Your friends have to pick some guy you have to say the line to. And then, Goooood Luck!

Now, you're not really supposed to do well, and it's no real dent in your ego because it's a game with your friends, not actually trying to pick some guy up. So just pick a line, go up to that guy at the bar and tell him you're going to call the police because he just stole your heart! Nine times out of ten, the guy will at least laugh. And I guarantee even if he doesn't you and your friends will.

I know there are other games out there. Feel free to share what worked for you. Just keep in mind; if you and your friends can leave laughing, your night has been more of a success than leaving with a phone number.

Now get dressed and get out there, kitty cat. Find your self some mice and enjoy!

One last thing. If you've spent a lot of time in bars or clubs hoping to find Prince Charming and he hasn't shown up (you're here and single right?), maybe it's time to find out once-and-for-all why what you've always done is simply not working. Christian Carter has some fool-proof advice on how to solve just this problem in his free Catch Him and Keep Him newsletter. You can sign up for it by clicking HERE.

If you'd like to read an article where Christian shares some proven advice on getting a guy to call, click HERE!

The reason?

She hadn't heard from him the night before. Usually they spoke before they went to bed, but last night, no call. The next morning, Maya was convinced that he was on a date with someone else; kissing someone else; sleeping with someone else. She could picture the two of them, locked in a sensual embrace. She knew that if she went to his house, she would catch the two of them together, just like she had caught her ex-boyfriend a year ago.

Jason finally called her that following afternoon, apologizing for falling asleep the night prior. At first, she gave him the silent treatment. He pushed her, asking what was wrong, until finally she let it all out. She accused him of sleeping with someone else.

"I couldn't help it," she told me, "I was just so angry and I'm not even sure why."

They ended the conversation with Jason insulted and turned off, Maya hurt and confused. Jason told her that maybe the relationship "wasn't working out" and thought they should take a break.

"I don't get it," Maya said.

I did because I've been there. And I bet you've been there too.

It may not have been a situation as obvious, but have you ever unwittingly brought in some old boyfriend baggage into a new relationship?

It's so hard not to. Once you've been hurt by a man you loved, it's difficult to not to have the fear that another man you care about may hurt you as well. But is that fear turning you into a self-fulfilling prophet? And is it even fair to the next man in your life to have to live in the aftermath of your ex's mistakes?

You may have had a man treat you poorly in the past, but if you still carry around that old baggage, you're in for more heartache. And this time, you will bring it on yourself. So before you shoot yourself in the relationship foot, here are a few ways to save you from yourself.

Bury the cat
A wise friend who is also a psychologist once told me that a dead relationship is like having a dead cat around your neck. You have to bury that cat, mourn for it and move on, because no one wants to date a girl with a dead cat around her neck. It stinks. In other words, if you are just out of a relationship, don't jump into the next one to get over him. That's called a "quick fix," but it won't stay fixed for long.

You need to take some time to actually feel the sadness of losing the relationship. The sorrow won't go away just because you refuse to acknowledge it. Pain is patient. It will wait until you are vulnerable enough to feel it. Why not just get it over with?

Take some responsibility
This will sound drastic to some and unnecessary to others, but this is a very important step in getting rid of old romance baggage. Sit down with pen and paper and write a goodbye letter to your ex. This is NOT a letter that you will send to him. This letter is for you. In black and white, write out all the pain you feel, all of your anger. Rational or irrational, it doesn't matter. You just need to get all those toxic feelings out of your heart. Write it all down and then tear it up, burn it, what ever you want to do.

Next, comes the real work: it's an inventory of sorts. Write down all the crappy things that your ex did to you. Think about how each one of those actions really affected you. For example, say your ex-boyfriend cheated on you. You could say that his cheating affected you in many ways. Emotionally, it affected your ability to trust people, perhaps your sense of security. Write it down.

Now, take a look at your behavior in the relationship. I know you may think, "What do you mean? He cheated on me! I didn't do anything!" Certainly, that was his error, but don't believe for a minute that anyone is perfect in a relationship. It could be all kinds of behavior: lying, being whiny, always wanting your way and not wanting to do what he wanted to do. Perhaps you didn't like him to spend any time with his friends or you were very controlling. Maybe you gave him the silent treatment to get your way. Maybe you had to be with him all the time because you were feeling insecure and after a while he just wanted to get away.

Whatever it is, write it down. The point is, we are all human in relationships and we all make mistakes. It's freeing to clean your side of the street and relinquish the title of victim. Once you see for yourself, on paper, it's easier to forgive your ex, forgive yourself, and move on.

You've got a friend
Once you've decided to start seeing someone new, make sure you have a good friend around for reality checks. Say you've been cheated on in the past. Your new guy calls and says he has to work late. In your head, you're already thinking that he's cheating. Call your friend for a slap of reality. Alone in our pretty little heads, this could seem like the truth, but minds connected to broken hearts can be like bad neighborhoods. You don't want to be wandering around in there alone! Call your friend and ask her to walk you home!

It's important to have the rational friend to talk to, not the poor new boyfriend. If you're feeling fear that's based on an old relationship, talk to your friends, your family, or even a counselor about it first to get any irrational fears out; anyone whose opinion you trust. You don't need to unload everything on a new beau. I'm not asking you to lie to him or hide things from him, but there are some things you need to work out without him.

Try to remember: everybody deserves a clean slate. Your new guy IS NOT your past. But he will be if you treat him like that.

If you're still feeling like you're lost and need a little bit of a dating compass, check out http://CatchHimAndKeepHim.com. There's plenty of helpful insight to keep you on your way.

If you found this article helpful, here's another article that may help you as well. Click here to read "Twisting Fate."